


Stay Because I Love You

by layalee



Series: Stay [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alpha Derek, Alpha Scott McCall, Angst, Angst and Feels, Derek Has Issues, Love Confessions, M/M, Unhappy Ending, mostly canon-compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-18
Updated: 2016-07-18
Packaged: 2018-07-24 19:19:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7520038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/layalee/pseuds/layalee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles has kept his feelings bottled up for way too long. When they finally come out, it's not in a situation he ever imagined he'd be in.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stay Because I Love You

Stiles grabbed the CD and stuffed his feet in his sneakers, nearing bouncing with excitement. Bounding down the staircase, he grabbed his car keys from the hook near the door and left the house, locking it behind him. Rushing to his Jeep, he (carefully) tossed the CD onto the passenger seat and started the car, humming in satisfaction as he heard Roscoe’s familiar rumble.

Backing out of his driveway, he went down the route he had memorized by heart. He headed to Derek’s loft.

***

When Stiles walked into Derek’s loft, the scene in front of him was the last thing he expected to see.

“What the hell is this?” he asked Derek, who was hunched over a suitcase, trying to force its overflowing contents closed.

Derek tensed, even though Stiles knew the werewolf had probably heard his Jeep a mile away, so he knew Stiles was coming.

He saw more than heard Derek sigh, before he finally closed the suitcase and straightened up. Turning around, he glanced at the younger man behind him. “Stiles,” he said, his tone weary.

Gaping, Stiles took a few more steps into the loft. Shaking his head, he tried to make sense of what he was seeing. Looking around the loft, he saw nothing. The book he knew Derek was currently reading was not on the coffee table. Derek’s favorite mug was not hanging off the hook on the wall above the sink in the kitchen. The triskelion talisman that Derek always kept on his nightstand was gone. _Everything_ was gone.

Turning his stunned gaze back on Derek, he asked incredulously, “Are you _leaving?_ ” He didn’t blame himself when his tone came out accusatory.

Derek sighed again as he carried the suitcase to the loft door and dropped it on the floor there. Stiles watched the older man walk by him like a hawk, afraid that if he glanced away even for a second, Derek would disappear.

For a moment, Derek stood with his back to him, as if he didn’t want to turn around. Then, squaring his shoulders, the alpha turned and faced Stiles.

“Yes.”

Stiles gaped, fury surging through him. “That’s _it_? _Yes_?”

Derek shrugged. “What do you want me to say?”

Stiles was at a loss for words – which was quite a feat, considering his rambling tendencies. He just couldn’t believe Derek was being so, so… So _Old Derek_ like. The Derek he knew, the Derek he has spent countless hours with just chilling, making snarky comments to, laughing with till his stomach hurt, wasn’t like this. He wasn’t cold and aloof – at least, not anymore.

Suddenly, something clicked in Stiles’ head. “Were you… Were you just going to _go_? Were you even going to tell me? Tell the pack?” Stiles saw something pass over Derek’s face that confirmed it. “You were just going to leave,” he said slowly, still processing.

Derek stilled, a look of misery passing through his eyes before being replaced by resoluteness. “Yes, Stiles.”

Stiles shook his head, still not believing this. “Why? Why are you leaving?”

Derek took a step forward, and it said a lot about how much their friendship had developed that Stiles stood his ground.

“Because,” Derek started, teeth grounded together, “there’s nothing for me here.”

Stiles’ fury was replaced by an intense feeling of helplessness. “Derek, Derek I’m sorry. I know you’re having a rough time, with Cora back in South America and Isaac choosing Scott to be his Alpha instead of you, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t anything for you here.” _You’ve got me_.

Derek shook his head vehemently, slashing a hand through the air as if to cut off all credibility to Stiles’ words. “No,” he said firmly. “Scott and I tried to co-Alpha and that didn’t work. Cora’s gone, Malia wants nothing to do with any Hale, and Peter is off in God knows where, planning God knows what. I’m not sticking around for that to explode in my face. Again.”

Stiles couldn’t believe what he was hearing. No, no, this couldn’t be happening. A panic attack was brewing beneath his skin but he tried his best to tamp it down; he couldn’t deal with that right now.

“So you were just going to leave without telling any of us? I’m your _friend_ , Derek.”

The werewolf’s eyes softened. “I know. That’s why you of all people should understand why I’m doing this.”

Everything that Derek had been through flashed through Stiles’ mind. Losing his entire family. _Kate Argent_. Being betrayed by his uncle. Having to bury his sister, alone and lost. Rejected by Scott. Painted as a murderer by _Stiles._ Getting kidnapped and tortured by hunters, again and again. Losing the only pack he had left, being forced to kill one of them. Falling in love only to realize that he was being used, _again_. Losing his powers, being helpless, only to be evolve into something stronger, better. But even that couldn’t keep Cora in Beacon Hills, the town containing too many miserable memories for her to stay. Derek’s life was a rollercoaster that only went down.

Did Stiles understand? He did. Derek could see it in Stiles’ eyes, he knew.

But still. Stiles couldn’t let Derek leave. He just couldn’t.

“Derek,” he pleaded, “there’s more than that. You know there’s more.”

Derek shook his head. “More isn’t enough.”

Stiles sucked in a breath, the amount of pain that statement brought him indescribable.

He knew that Derek had said all he wanted to say. He knew that this was the only explanation he was going to get. He was out of time.

As Derek turned to leave, Stiles was gripped by panic. He couldn’t let the werewolf walk out of the loft door; he had a feeling that if he did, he would never see Derek again.

So he blurted out the one thing he thought would make Derek pause, would make him hesitate for just one second. One second would be enough.

Grabbing Derek’s arm in a desperate grip, Stiles said the truth. “I love you,” he blurted, and once that was out, everything he’d been bottling up inside for years was clambering to be let out.

Derek froze and his gaze swung to meet Stiles’ eyes. “Stiles,” he began, but the younger man cut him off.

If he didn’t say this now, he would never get the chance again. And he needed to say it. “No, no, just let me say this, let me say this just one goddamned time.”

Stiles let his arm drop by his side, releasing Derek. Taking a deep breath, he looked into those eyes that he _still_ couldn’t figure out the color of, and he took courage from them.

“You _do_ have something to stay for. Me,” he said simply. “I love you, I love you so much.” Stiles gave off a dry, sharp laugh, “I can’t remember a time when I didn’t feel anything for you. First it was distrust, then I admit, a little hate. Then it was grudging respect and a mutual desire to save each other’s lives. Then, God, I don’t even know. You’re snarky and _kind_ and so fucking beautiful it hurts to look at you sometimes. You’re brave even when you have no idea what you’re doing, you’re loyal even when you feel betrayed, and when you look at me, you _see_ me.” Stiles dropped his hands from where he was gesturing widely, looking deep into Derek’s eyes and not the slightest bit ashamed at the wet sheen that must appear in his. “I love you like I want forever with you. I love you like I want to sex you up and then cuddle the hell out of you. I love you like I wouldn’t mind brushing your wolfy form, I’d actually _fucking enjoy it_ because you’re so soft and sweet like that.”

Derek opened his mouth for a second, then closed it. Stiles took that as a sign to go on.

“I didn’t say anything. I didn’t think… I didn’t know if it would be reciprocated. And man, I love our friendship, I wouldn’t want anything to interfere with that. Hell, I don’t even know if you’re into guys! And, well, you don’t exactly have the best romantic track record, so I knew you wouldn’t be too enthusiastic about jumping into something new. So I kept quiet. I held back. I took as much of you as you were willing to give, and that was enough for me, because I knew that that’s all you _could_ give. But I can’t do that anymore. Because I come here wanting to watch the new Captain America movie with you, and I see you all packed up and halfway out the door. You weren’t even going to say goodbye,” Stiles’ mouth became an angry line at that. “What the fuck is that, dude? After everything we’ve been through together, I don’t even deserve a goodbye?”

Derek closed his eyes, face scrunched up as if he were in pain, but Stiles barreled on.

“You’re my best friend. Scott’s my brother, he always will be, but you… You’re there for me on my mom’s anniversary and her birthday. You’re there when the nightmares keep me awake for days. You’re there when I want to chill and watch a movie and you’re there when I have too much energy and I _need_ to go out to the preserve and be stupid. You’re always there.”

Derek looked at Stiles warily, and for the life of him, Stiles couldn’t read his expression. This is it, he thought. _Go big or go home_.

“I’m standing here, baring my heart and soul out to you. I’m telling you that you’ve got something to stay for. Some _one_ to stay for. I love you. And I want to be there for you for as long as I live.”

 Silence fell over the loft; the only sound was Stiles’ heaving breaths as he waited for Derek’s response. For a long minute, the werewolf just looked at Stiles, expression inscrutable. He just _looked_. Then he bent down, grabbed the handle of his suitcase and picked it up. He gave one long, deep look at the younger man, then Derek Hale turned his back to Stiles Stilinski and walked out the door, without a single word uttered.

Stiles just stood there, the broken pieces of his heart scattered around him in the place that’s seen so much death and despair, wondering if he’ll ever be able to breathe again.

 

**Author's Note:**

> ... Sorry?  
>  I swear this was supposed to go into a happy direction, but Derek was not cooperating. In my head, Derek loves Stiles too, but he's not in a place where he can stay (for reasons Stiles is unaware of) even though he and Stiles are good friends. 
> 
> Kudos and comments are welcomed!


End file.
